My dearest Mónica,
Another little year without you, that's 9 now. Sometimes it feels like the last time we saw each other was yesterday. It still hurts when I sit down to write you this letter each year. I wonder what your life is like on the other side. I imagine you devoting yourself to what you truly loved. I imagine you being a nurse, which is what you wanted to be before your university entrance mark clipped your wings. It would be wonderful if life here weren't like this, if we could devote ourselves to what we love without limits, without worrying about what people will think or whether we'll have enough means to live on. I think we'd all be happier, we'd all feel fulfilled and we wouldn't mind devoting our time to helping others.
This has been a year of crisis; motherhood literally turns your life upside down. I'd say motherhood is an experience full of contrasts. On one hand, I'm enjoying it enormously, it's full of endearing moments: Lolita is a super sweet, smiley little girl who literally fills my days with tenderness and joy. On the other hand, I've lost all control over my time and I've had to let chaos take over many areas of my life, which I've found frustrating.
This year I read a quote from Warren Buffett that touched my heart: "If you don't find a way to make money while you sleep, you will work until you die." I've decided I'm going to find a way to have more time so I can enjoy Lolita as much as I can. Our time here is limited and you have to enjoy it to the fullest, I don't want to leave this life with regrets. The truth is that the thought of working until I die doesn't appeal to me at all. After a lot of reading, I've come to the conclusion that achieving it doesn't seem to be a matter of money but rather of knowing how to invest the resources we have. In fact, there are studies that say most people who win the lottery end up bankrupt within a few years, in a much worse situation than before they won.
What's the point of earning a lot of money if you don't have time to enjoy it? Most of us spend most of the day doing tasks that don't fulfil us. Motherhood has heightened some feelings I already had, I don't want to live frustrated by the lack of time. I want to be able to enjoy Lolita every day without having to think about everything I have to do the moment she falls asleep, or get stressed when she gets poorly or wants more cuddles. I'm in the process of redesigning my life. I want to teach Lolita how to invest her resources wisely so that she's always the owner of her time and can freely decide what she wants to devote her hours to. I find it sad that they don't teach us at school how to be financially smart.
Having dreams gives our life direction. Right now I'm full of hope for the years to come. Let's see if next year I write to you telling you about the progress.
I send you a great big kiss wherever you are. Loves you dearly,
Your sister Cristina